Leadership and professional development: your self-talk matters, part 3
This is the final blog on self-talk for this series, and hopefully having gone through the exercises of the first two parts, you are really noticing your negative self-talk on a regular basis. Are you feeling that your negative self-talk is increasing or decreasing? Keep in mind that it is normal for it to increase for a time period while you are working on this process.
Once you become self-aware of a negative behavior, you will start to notice it in a hyper-vigilant way.
However, the thoughts aren’t increasing but rather your awareness is – so it will feel like more. The reality is that you are simply now fully aware of the frequency of those moments. Celebrate your self-awareness!
In blog #2, we discussed the National Science Foundation’s thoughts on throwing the thoughts away physically and the STOP method. I have two more options to discuss today:
First is the STOP method with a reward/punishment factor added in.
To change and adapt to new behavior, according to healthline.com, it takes an average of 66 days for the new behavior to become automatic. When you think about your New Year’s resolutions, how many of those new behaviors make it to 66 days? With that in mind, rewards/punishments can sometimes promote your efficacy with the new behavior.
One example of a reward system for the STOP process is for every 10 negative thoughts you stop and push back against with three positive statements, you get to enjoy your favorite meal or dessert or go to a movie. One example of a punishment (positive punishment) is for every negative statement you think (think recurring thoughts that you truly need to eliminate), you owe ten pushups immediately following the statement. Every time you think that thought, you drop and do ten pushups. It’s a positive punishment in that it will improve your body’s strength while also fighting your mind’s negativity.
Consider these as options for you to try. Give yourself a reward system that works – like gold stars when you were a kid. We all loved those stickers! 😊
The second option available to you is to hire a professional coach to help you work on those negative thoughts.
There are times that the negative thoughts go deeper to an underlying imposter syndrome or deeper lack of self-esteem that can be greatly benefitted from a coach helping you understand those issues, build a plan of action to attack those thoughts, and then hold you accountable to following through for over 66 days to make the new positive behaviors stick for good!
As always, my mission is to create a positive impact in your life. Please reach out if I can help you take that next step in your leadership and professional development journey. We hope this series helps you grow to your potential.
Here’s to your growth and your success!
Lori